Let’s see. I always see this, “be inspired” quote almost everywhere. A realization struck me though, the other day, while I was thinking about how I wanted to do a lot of things but until now I haven’t made any progress.
It’s not enough to just be inspired. Do something about that inspiration.
…And that was my problem. I don’t act on my passions enough so most of the time I feel so stagnant. So mediocre. Hovering between the potential to fail and the potential to be good at something.
Aaaah, I really need to do something about this. (Why am I so lazy?)
I turned another year older. I still have no idea what I’m doing but I’m hoping for the best. I’m feeling grateful this year because I am happier with the relationships I’ve kept and keeping, and I didn’t want anything materialistic to be content. It’s when people ask you, “what do you want for your birthday?” and hard as you try to think about something, anything, you just don’t need/want anything.
- Got flowers from my love, waiting by my bedroom table when I got home the other day. tulips! i love it even more than the roses I got last time. so pretty
- My films ran out, and very timely. the next pack i’m getting will be for a new year of life.
I shot this back when we decided to get out of the flat a few weeks ago and go out. Shops below, mostly flats on floors above. I’m usually there, except for the past two weeks when I had to move here in Al Ain for a project.
I heard the news today that I’m moving back to Khalifa on Saturday though. Happy to be going back, but kinda sad as well. Just when you’re starting to get used to the place, you’re being dragged again to another. I hate this moving, but it’s part of the job so I can’t really do much about it. I’ve made my bed in Khalifa my safe haven (bought a loooot of things to make it homey) but it kind of sucks that I’m might move around a lot. (Oh my goodness, I *love* IKEA. An understatement. I go crazy every time I go there. It’s so easy to be sucked in and then buy stuff you probably don’t need but really want.)
I miss my bed, my bedroom lights. I can finally eat properly! Two weeks here in Al Ain had me losing my appetite, you know. I’m too shy to eat a full Filipino meal while at the hospital because people doesn’t seem like they eat?! In the mornings I couldn’t prepare breakfast because I can’t get myself to wake up early enough (I’ve got to change this habit). And here in the flat, it’s a little cramped so I lose the motivation to prepare any real food. I miss home all the more. 😦
I’m hoping to get a few days or weeks, if God willing, of downtime. Heh. I know as soon as I got back I’ll be wondering again where I’ll be sent to next! Hopefully it wouldn’t be as stressful as the first one.
You know, when I decided to move here in the UAE, I didn’t factor in some things. All I thought was that I wanted to be independent and move away from home, be my own person. Nobody telling me what time I should be home. No chores I needed to do. I was all about the “adventure”. See places!
But boy, it’s tougher than it seemed at that time.
I forgot that I don’t do well with lots of new people. I hated constant change (stop it if I can help it), but oh, I ran here head on without any second thoughts. It felt like a chance of a lifetime. Well, it still is.
All I’m saying is, I haven’t really seen a lot. Why? Because I’m too scared to go out on my own. It’s been two months! Tell me if I wrong, please. Is this still a phase? Because I didn’t factor in the fact that I am shy when it comes to new people and conversing and small talk. I forgot to factor in the fact that I hate being alone (sometimes in solitude isn’t bad) and meeting new people although I’d love some new friends. My life is a series of contradictions really, I exasperate even myself.
Anywaaaay, while I was at work, my mind is often wandering. Terrible, really. I have the attention span of a one year old. I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish or you know, just do:
- Sketch diary
- Practice more on my photography
- Improve my writing skills
- Finish 60 books (so far I’ve finished only one for the past two and a half months)
On the writing part, it’s so hard to write! So hard to find something to write on if your life is as mundane as mine. But I will try. So easy to be inspired, so difficult to get some output when you’re actually doing it. What can you suggest I can do to improve my writing? 🙂
P.S. Also a good book I can read? I’m good with anything so hit me up with any title you think is worth reading.
I was just talking about going to Hong Kong in my last post. Well , I did go to Hong Kong for vacation and came back. That was my first travel abroad and I traveled with the love of my life. Now, almost two months later, I am currently living and working in the United Arab Emirates. For two weeks now. Who knew, I’d make such big decisions in a short span of time?
I’m highly a creature of habit and I never do anything without knowing I planned for it and I prepared everything down to the last detail. I found out a few years back that I have control issues. Also, realized during the last years how anxious I am really at social situations (which I thought was just me, being snobby) and generally no fun, because I don’t tend to do anything big spontaneously. But I digress.
It’s not that I’m questioning why I made the decision to be here in the first place, because I like the newness of everything, the adventure. Everything has it’s own setbacks and for me, I expected something else so I’m trying to deal with the fact that not all things go as expected or planned. I know that if I didn’t take that chance I will regret it. My feet doesn’t want to stay in one place once I learned how to move. It’s just that it can get lonely, I realized. I’ve wanted so bad to be alone and away from family so I can be independent (traditional Filipino family) but it’s not easy even when I felt so ready that time.
I don’t want regrets definitely. And I don’t want to be homesick. I don’t think I am. Right now I’m writing to deal with disappointments. I didn’t plan for the disappointments I might face (because who does, anyway?) It’s all excitement at the beginning.
Anywaaay. Maybe if I get my thoughts in order I’ll be more coherent. But for now, this.
Browsing through our old photos from last year, I realized how crappy the photos I took were (they were really bad, haha) and even though there were a lot (around 500+ photos for that weekend trip), I’m not sure it was enough to tell a story. I keep thinking about a memory and a photo to go along with it but I couldn’t find one to satisfy what I wanted.
And even more crappier when I looked backed on it, was how an inexperienced traveler I am. Jeff and I brought backpacks only. I didn’t check Baguio weather in August but it was hella cold. I had the poorest choice of clothing you can imagine. Leggings and shorts! While last April of the same year when I went with family, I brought crazy ton of clothes and shoes I didn’t need! I couldn’t get it right at all, lol. Also, since we didn’t plan on anything at all, it led to us spending a lot more!
(I thought about all these while I was jotting down plans for our Hong Kong trip this December. I don’t want to come unprepared this time, especially since it’s a foreign country and it’s entirely new territory. I’ve got to keep my head on!)
Anyway, part two of our Baguio trip!
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While I’m counting down to my next adventure, I remembered I went to Baguio with Jeff, August of last year. I never really showed anyone photos from that trip because I never uploaded it (like I said, I’m ultra lazy :p) but it’s really the first trip out of town I went without family or relatives and the first trip I went to with Jeff.
I’m not new to Baguio; I’ve been there many times before with family. And I love the place so much. During family trips, I just tagged along mostly, I never did any planning. I slept through the drive and woke up when we were there. It’s the first time for Jeff though (surprising, really, how close this place is to his hometown). So to celebrate our fifth year anniversary as BF/GF, we decided to go for the weekend.
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