On giving up on this career.

It’s been three months so far since I had my last job as a nurse in a tertiary government hospital. I said I was going to rest for a month then get back to applying for work but then things take an unforeseen turn (like always) and now, it’s been three months.

It took me a while because all this time I had been trying to make my mind up whether I still want to pursue this Nursing career. It wasn’t easy since this is what I’ve known to do. I spent more or less five years of my life making this happen. But the last year I spent working in a hospital, though I have fond memories and experiences with people, I can’t completely say I was happy. All I am at the end of the contract was tired. I was underpaid, unmotivated and unfulfilled. This is the reality of nurses in this country. All I know was I don’t want to go into shifting schedules anymore or stand on my feet for over eight hours at a time.

It took me a while to realize that maybe this isn’t really my calling. I was not cut out to care for people.

I started searching the internet for anything that might help me make my mind. My parents had this mindset that if I took this course my future will be bright and I will earn money. I can go abroad. I believed that for a while. But ever since I started getting the down low/crash course of being an adult, good lord, times have changed and boy, were they wrong.

To summarize the conclusion: I probably don’t have to work as a nurse to earn enough. There are probably other jobs that aren’t as demanding as being a nurse but fulfilling and motivating because first and foremost, I GET PAID what I deserve. Imagine if my mother had let me take a college course I chose and like, I’m probably not stuck where I am right now, you know? Well, supposing.

So most of my time the past few months have been spent on finding a job that isn’t in a hospital setting but I can still use my expertise. And oh my gosh, I need to find one soon. We’re not exactly rich. We could have been average ten years ago but we’re now below average financially, I think. My brother is still in college. My grandfather recently transferred at our home to be taken care of (he’s pretty much bedridden now) and I tell you, the expenses are not light, to say the very least. I have the kindest boyfriend who assists me in almost every possible way I cannot even…

I just don’t want to go back to being a hospital nurse anymore. I’m tired. I don’t know how anyone else does it. My mother, despite my expressing of disinterest in the field in the most subtle way as to not hurt her feelings, keeps egging me on and pointing me to hospitals here and there. And I am trying to avoid it and say ‘no’ in the most gentle way possible (which is not much given my anger issues and patience the length of an eyelash). I just hope she gets the hint sometime soon.

Anyhow, wish me luck! I have a pending application on a company I would really love to get in. I just hope they call me soon. See ya!

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2 thoughts on “On giving up on this career.

  1. Hi Harriette,

    I understand your point, and having a job you don’t exactly “like” somewhat generates that awful feeling (not to mention, stress!). But knowing your financial state, choosing another course to take isn’t a viable (nor smart) option. I can only advise to look for something away from the ‘hospital’ environment if that stresses you out. Company nurse, school nurse, a private nurse even (though rare in PH) can be good spots to try out. Those are still aligned to the course you’ve finished and your experience in hospitals should complement it.

    Goodluck and hope you’ll land a job that you’ll enjoy! Just don’t get tired on looking at the brighter side of this ‘challenging’ life.

    • Yes, I really don’t intend to take another course. I don’t think I have the energy or finances to go through studying in school again. Like I said I am looking for a job that is not in a clinical setting but still aligns to what I’ve studied for. In a way my degree wouldn’t be such a waste! Tired as I am though, I am grateful for that hospital experience. At least I could say I tried and I know what it was like. 🙂

      I’m in luck though, I think I just found the perfect job for me where I can still use all these! I just hope I get in. Thank you though! 😀

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