Once upon a time, I’ve been a fan of anime, Japanese pop songs, asian dramas and pretty Asian boys. But I grew up and life got the best of me, eventually the interest dwindled away.
I’m in a really bad funk lately about things trivial and unnecessary, I’m not even going to try to explain. So tonight I rummage through my old music files and found some tracks I felt like listening tonight. And I fell in love.
It may seem like I’m an avid fan of something that makes adults raise an eyebrow and find weird. They used to question me a lot why I listen to Arashi or Kanjani8 when I can’t even understand a single word. Correction: I can understand a few. Bits and pieces here and there because my passion for this interest made me try to understand the language (it died eventually, not because I want to but because I got busy. Studying to become a nurse is not the easiest thing on this planet). Sometimes I even wish I was a different person (now, this is childish). But music was an exception. I found in them what ingredient was missing in the music I can understand. It made me feel.
These things were a part of my growing up. I spent a good year of my life following these idols. It was a puzzle piece to who I am. And I’ve been a feeling a little lost lately. I can’t remember the things I used to like really hard. I can’t remember what makes me feel kilig/giddy aside from my boyfriend. I rummaged my old music files and found ARASHI’s music.
And I fell in love all over again. If you are a fan, then you know how it feels to hear Nino play the piano. Or how you see Sho rapping in such a light… I cannot put words into. It’s not because I’m a hardcore, rabid fan girl. (I swear I’m not because apparently I’m too contrite to be one :|) It’s because damn the music makes me feel good and it brings back good memories. These interests of mine made me list down a draft of my dreams and goals for the future me. Of course that has changed. But it’s not a memory that made me cringe or made me feel in the least bit embarrassed. It makes me smile and think I was that hopeful girl once upon a time. Once upon a time before life got the best of me.
The point is, I just found a “me” I haven’t seen in quite a while and I felt in love like I did a few years ago when I was watching and listening with admiration.
What about you? What makes you feel in love again? 🙂