Right Amount of Love

As a nurse I usually don’t try to get involved too much with the patient’s background unless it has any relevance to their medical history. I don’t usually ask anything personal unless necessary and I don’t usually follow-up unless the initiate the conversation first. It’s not that I’m a snob, it’s just that I’m a typically quiet person with people I am not that familiar with. In a way that is awkward, and I really can’t remember when I lost my communication skills or maybe I don’t have them at all.

During my morning shift the other day at the Surgical ICU, we had this male patient who has undergone surgery in his abdomen for hacking wounds. I haven’t really checked his chart yet when I tried to take his pulse and blood pressure but found out that I couldn’t appreciate any from both his arms.  I knew then he wasn’t going to last very long and then I found out about what happened entirely.

He was stabbed to death by the brothers of his partner because of his (second) wife’s jealousy. Apparently the first one had died and left him with two daughters. I thought that he was a womanizer and a part of me had thought maybe he deserved what he got (I was judgmental, I know, and I’m sorry) but then I got to talk to his younger daughter and I found out about the whole story.

Well, the family did try to stay away from their step mom, to the point that his father (our patient) gave up his lugaw business to the woman so she would just stay away from them thinking that would solve the problem. They moved away but eventually they were found out. A week prior to the incident, the woman stabbed him at the arm. You would think it ended there but apparently she wasn’t quite satisfied, she even asked her brothers (I was told there were three?) to attack him, which eventually led him to us in a critical state. (He’s not even critical but past it, irreversible, when I received him, there was too much damage and his organs were failing).

I felt sorry for the daughter who was crying at the bedside (while we were doing post-mortem care). Who does that? How can you love someone so obsessively that you would choose them to suffer? And die a meaningless death? I felt sad mostly because life is always a potential for something better. I don’t know what she was thinking when she decided to ruin this family’s life but I hope she gets what she deserves.

If you have someone who loves you and will not hurt you no matter what, whether emotionally or physically, hug them right now and let them know that you love them.  Because really be glad that you are loved with the right amount of love, anything in excess is dangerous. (With that said, I don’t want to be jealous ever in my life again and I definitely won’t hurt the people I love.)



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