The first few days I’ve been in ICU hasn’t been fun at all but like my new motto says, it gets better. I found out that I don’t like working when there’s a lot of people. I find myself having no idea at all what to do when there’s a lot of us milling about. There’s no order at all. My midshift the other day turned out okay even when I was alone and my co-worker didn’t show up. I can focus on work better.
Yesterday my friend asked me if it was okay that I’m a trainee in a hospital, since he seemed to have given up searching for employment, I said “it’s tiring and hard, but fulfilling knowing you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing.” Which is true, there’s a certain fulfillment when I get to try and learn something I haven’t learned while I was a student, seeing things I haven’t seen done before and being exposed to realities I was sheltered from when I was in college. There’s a certain fulfillment seeing a patient improve his condition (no kidding here especially when you’re in ICU and you have really long term patients there) and knowing he’ll be out of there soon before he knows it. In helping revive a patient going into arrest, even. So yeah, it’s good.